ROLE MODEL

To some people a role model may mean a mentor, to others it may mean someone they look upon; to others it means someone who spends on them. But to me it simply meant my mother, the only woman who has never left me, the one who is always there for me, my counselor when am lost, my protector, the only one who stands by me when the world declares me to be ‘terminated’, not to forget the one who sacrifices her joys to fulfill mine.

Before I met Dr.Monica Kibita, a Senior lecturer at Makerere University, that was my definition of a role model, if anyone would have asked me, who is your role model, I will simply reply, “my mother”. But after joining Makerere University, the first person I met and admired is this sophisticated woman, I looked forward to her lectures which could not be described as boring but rather interesting, each day I learnt something new from her.

She would teach us and give us a chance to ask questions, she will always encourage us to be aware of the politics of our countries right from the past. This is the time that I learnt a role model can be anybody; it can be your mother, your brother, sister, friend or even a stranger as long as they have touched our lives in one or two ways, as long as they have done something to make us admire to be like them.

Another woman who has taught me to have different meanings of a role model is Dr. Nassanga Gorreti, also a Senior lecturer at Makerere University, Always serious when she is teaching but makes sure students understand and ask questions incase they have not understood. She has encouraged us to always write and as Mass communication students to always be aware of contemporary issues in our society.

This two women have also unknowingly, taught me that a mother is not only the one who gave birth to you, but someone who helps you to grow up to be a decent person always, a person who sets for us an example and we willingly follow. Most of the students in The Mass communication Department can be heard saying, “Dr. Kibita and Nassanga are strict but the best, because they treat us like their children.”

This does not mean that I have stopped viewing my mum as my role model, it simply means that as am Graduating from Makerere University come 2011, I am a lucky person because I will be having more than one mother and more than one role model.

Because, I have mentioned the two lecturers from Makerere University, Mass Communication Department, it does not mean that other lecturers are any less or I do not appreciate them, different lecturers are different role models to different students, this depends on the different interests of the students.

Lecturers like, Dr. George Lugalambi, Mr. Musoke David, Mr. Zikusoka Amos and Mrs. Harriet Ssebana, are also an inspiration to many Mass Communication students, including myself. Their endless efforts to mold us to be the best in our profession can not be left unmentioned or unappreciated.

I wish the outside world from school has some women who can live to impress others, for I plan on being like my role models or better.

Let Nansamba build her future

Dear Editor, this is a response to your story, Pregnant student stopped from filling in University forms, which appeared in NV 5th/12/08. Am concerned about this girl whose education is about to be ended, simply because of a mistake she committed. I feel that the headmaster of the school has a grudge on her. I don't see the reason as to why he has blocked her from filling the Joint Admissions Board's forms (JAB) if the ministry of education allowed her to sit for her papers.

We know that every person has a goal in life and if in pursuing our goals we slip, it does not mean that we should not get up and continue walking. If Fatuma Nansamba wants to join the university, it is her right and no one should take it from her.

The university is a place for mature people, some are married, others have children and no one questions that. So, if the headmaster allowed her to sit for the exams, he should let her apply for university since this is a right of every Ugandan and she has not committed any crime against the state by becoming pregnant.

be strong

People fear to test for their HIV status,not because they are sick but because they think they are sick.not because they fear themselves but because they fear what their friends may say.Life is all about what we think about ourself not about what people think about us.It is about what we feel and not about what others feel,it is about what we want to be, not what people want us to be.You respect yourself and you will be respected.

We decide what we want to be and that is exactly what we become.Look at someone like Obama,he is not a genius,he never sat at home andwaited to become a president, he believed in himself and Americans recognised his capability and courage hence making him a president.The decision of taking a HIV test is with you,for us we just support.

Love is weird

There is a moment in life when you ask God why you are not in love. He then answers your prayers and you fall madly in love with someone. Only that love is not as sweet as you expected .Your partner becomes stressing and abusive, does not know how to treat you right, and again you turn to God and ask him why your man cannot be like your friend’s boyfriend who treats her better and with a lot of care.

Only that now, God is no longer interested in your love life and so you feel all alone, scared and abused in this painful island. Your family can’t help you, your friends advice you to let him go. They remind you that the guy does not deserve you, but your heart just can’t let him go.

You meet new guys, they promise you heaven and earth, and they start caring even before you say yes to them. And you ask yourself why you can’t fall in love with such a loving and caring guy. All your friends think you are stupid to reject an angel like him for a devil but you just can t. The love you feel for your man is just too much to go away.

You now start blaming God, thinking it is a curse, you pray for his mercy and forgiveness for any wrong you have ever committed to deserve such a cruel punishment. You wakeup one morning and you ask God "why cant this love just fade away?"

By this time, you can’t concentrate on your books, work or even on your friends. You feel rejected, punished and lost at the same time. You wake up one morning and meditate about the pain you have gone through in the relationship. The suffering for loving someone more than you love yourself. Then you realize that it is true after all that the guy doesn’t deserve you.

You start feeling alive again, looking at yourself and realizing that you deserve better. Love is not so complicated at all, you just need someone whom you love and loves you in return, if not love you as much as you love him. You look around and see a million guys who are dying for just a chance to love you and from there you gather your strength and let the painful relationship fade away.

In short, letting an abusive or painful relationship end does not begin with advice from your family, friends but it starts with a decision from you. First you have to accept that the relationship is abusive, that your partner is the wrong person for you and that you deserve the best of the best. Love is not a one sided relationship but a mutual one .

Let men be men

Some women ask if all men are born by one mother and different fathers, but from my life with many brothers, male friends and a boyfriend, I tell them that men come from the same planet: Mars. In case my guy is reading this article, I say except him as a normal lady is expected to tell her man. He is one in a million, because of the way he talks, smiles and even the way he quarrels. It is not that am writing positive things about him because he is special but he is special because I love him.

Any way, I have diverted from the main goal of my writing. A friend of mine told me that she found her fiancé on bed with another girl and he had the guts to face her and tell her that it was not him but his twin brother. Another lady got a romantic message on her boyfriend’s phone but he denied and argued that his friend was using his phone and so it was his friend’s message. Really why do all men lie straight on the face?

Do not get me wrong. I have nothing against men but am just curious of knowing more of these brothers of ours. I was introduced to this cute, tall and slender guy. He had a huge chest and when he smiled, you would think he was an angel. At this point, I even thought it was a privilege to be associated with him. When he talked, it was like pure music to my ears. I wished I could listen to him the whole day. I had to remind myself that I had a boyfriend whom I loved with all my heart to remain sane.

As handsome as the angel was, he was also a good flirter. Within few hours of my company, he confessed his great love for me. He told me this was the first time he had fallen in love with a girl so quick and that the feeling was new to him. To tell you the truth, I was a bit surprised that such a handsome man could choose me among all the ladies in this universe. Little did I know that he had no choice and a woman to him was any creature that was putting on a skirt or peddle pusher.

I don’t want you to wonder about what I told him for it is not important at this point. In our next meeting, I came with my classmate to show her what an excellent guy I had met. She took my hand and whispered in my ear, “Please leave him for me, after all you have a boyfriend and I don’t.” I told her it is alright, she can have him. I forgot that is not exactly what I told her. So, I told her to shut up and listen to the great way he talks. I didn’t have to tell her this for she was concentrating on his every word!

I leave them for ten minutes as I go out. Coming back, I find them kissing. Am really shocked but am sober enough to hide it. They don’t even notice me. At this minute, I wish the earth could open and swallow me alive. “Welcome back, Mercy,” my angel tells me. As we start conversing again, my mind is rushing with thoughts like, “Are they in love?” And, “Is it love at first sight?”

Coincidentally, as my friend goes out to receive a call, am left with this mysterious man. “Mercy, am sorry about what you saw. Your friend was forcing herself on me but I have made it clear to her that I love you and only you,” Angel says. When I found them kissing, I did not see anyone forcing the other but I keep this fact to myself as my friend re-enters the house. She whispers something in his ear and they smile. This makes me feel like an outsider, so I excuse myself and go home.

The next day my friend comes to my place, this time am in for a big surprise as she tells me that am a horrible person. She warns me that I should stop forcing myself on ‘angel’ for he loves her and he has told her how I am forcing myself on him. She does not wait to hear my view or comment as she storms out of my room. That is why I ask myself why men can’t be men enough to admit it and apologize when they are wrong. Why they always try to blame someone else no matter the consequences.

I have forgotten to tell you about my precious love. It is not as if he has lived to all my aspirations. One day he gives me a teddy bear as a gift when am travelling. I hold it tight every day knowing it is his way of professing his undying love for me. I feel close to this bear. I clung to it every night, just to wake one morning and realize that it has a lady’s name on it. You might wonder what my worry is and I am a lady. The problem is, it was a gift from another lady to him. I ask him and he swears on his mother’s name that he bought the teddy bear that way.

This is starting to hurt me and reminds me of the day I found a romantic e-mail in his yahoo address and he denied any knowledge of where it came from or any knowledge about the sender. Then, this makes me wonder if all men are the same or it is just my imagination.

sodom and Gomorrah

When joining university, I had a lot of expectations .I had listened to a million stories from friends who were there before, from teachers who were students there once and even from people who have never been there! But is University life as simple or as sweet as advertised?

I remember my mother, teachers, Uncles and brothers advising me to complete my O’ and A level with a lot of concentration for all the fun was to come when I join the university. I anticipated for that day when I would join campus, finally free like a bird, aiming to fly as far as my wings could carry me.

Little did I know it was just a fantasy. They told me that in university no one forced you to attend classes, no one forced you to sit for exams but they never told me that at the end of it all, it was a must for me to pass exams in order for me to graduate.

I was told in university I could go out to clubs as much as I wanted but they did not tell me that you needed money to do that. My little pocket money could not be enough for as many outings as I would have wished. Everything was left for me to learn, it was an examination of its own.

The day I joined the university I was in for a big surprise. Settling was hard, making friends harder for they preferred someone as rich as them if not more. In A’ level, everything was done for me, my breakfast, lunch and supper were ever on time, and any kind of delay from the authority could provoke a demonstration from us students. All students ate the same type of food, slept on same type of bed and dressed uniformly. To find out who was rich than the other was a mystery.

In university where I expected joy, independence and peace, I got the opposite. I had to prepare my own meals, buy my own unique and modern outfits to fit in the society and to avoid students talking behind my back, not to forget that I had to attend classes without any one reminding me. Really somebody tell me honestly was this what I had bargained for?

In university ‘sugar daddies’ come to search for young, beautiful and desperate young girls. Sugar mummies are not left behind as they search for young boys, all this to spoil them through the use of money. It is like the scramble and partition o Africa, only that, it is the scramble and partition of immorality. Somebody slap me I may be dreaming, but no this is the reality of the campus life. Girls and boys need the money to survive to the campus expectations and sugar daddies and mummies are their to provide the money as they exploit them.

They told me to be careful of such acts but they never told me that university life was so demanding. God, I wish someone comes up and exposes that university life is the root of all evils. Where people do not work but they spend more than their pocket money and those who work spend more than they earn. Parents do not just tell your children to be careful in university but tell them how to be careful in such a demanding institution.

Generally, campus life is all about who has and who does not have, discrimination at its highest peek. Every man for himself and God for us all or what I would call survival for the fittest. No one really cares what life holds for others and no one takes time to educate us before bringing for us this tough examination. We are only left to learn from our failures, live with regrets, wishing somebody who really cares would have warned us, not to forget the constant blames from our family and the fingers raised at us by the society.

Let me take the first step of warning students who are about to join university. To have a decent and comfortable life in the university, one has to look for friends who are genuine and good in all ways, not rich financially but in moral behavior. Go outing rarely, attend classes often, sit for exams and dress to your best and not for their best. Life in campus is not abed of roses, it is full of ups and downs. It is another Sodom and Gomorrah. In order to survive follow my advice for if you look behind, you will turn into a stone.

why cant people leave others alone

Am surprised at how people bother with others problems.am just a silent neighbor trying to live my life to the fullest but people cant leave me in peace. my neighbor can be the most annoying person on earth,sometimes i wonder why there cant be such competitions so that an annoying person can be punished.

This guy knocks on my door during weird hours to borrow water or anything that crosses his mind at that particular moment,the first day i give him water the next day i tell him i don't have but at last my patience has reached the maximum,so i tell him to go to hell and never to come back.

To revenge on my sending him away,the guy knocks on my door on Saturday afternoon as i am listening to music,he complains that am making noise for him as he is trying to concentrate on his work.i switch off my radio and hope that he doesn't get a reason to approach me again but talk about bad people and i will show you him!

Do not get all surprised with me,he doesn't come knocking again but he lures me to knock on his door by putting on the music that could wakeup the devil himself. I kindly ask him to reduce on the volume"mind your on business this is my house i can do whatever i like,just keep off for God"s sake" he shouts to my great astonishment.Am weak the guy is strong and i know that cowards live longer so i slowly leave his door without a second glance on him.

Somebody tell me are all neighbors like this or am i just unlucky?i have so much to write about this cruel man but let me save it until next time when am in the mood for annoying myself...